Falling in Love by Frederick Hoehn, copyright 2015, all rights reserved. Chapter 1 In our language, American English, we have an expression, "Falling in Love." Where does this expression come from? It seems to come from our music and from our movies. There are just lots of our American songs that speak of "Falling in Love." Another of my books is "Don't Believe the Popular Songs." In that book, I say that we ought not to believe everything we hear in our songs, in our music that we hear on the radio, and on TV, in the movies, and so forth. Because a lot of that is just fiction. Just stories. Not real life. This "Falling in Love" concept, as the story goes, is boy meets girl, boy and girl fall in love, they get married, and everyone lives happily ever after. But that's a little far-fetched, isn't it? And life is not quite that simple. Life is not entirely that beautiful. Love and marriage are considerably more complicated than that. And remember that Satan and his demons are making it their business to prevent marriages from being successful. So, make it your business to make sure you know the will of God before you marry. Don't get in a hurry. If you're not sure, pray more. I have news for you, America. You're not supposed to fall in love. And here is my scriptural basis for saying that. Prov 4:23-- "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life." If you are doing what God said to do, and keeping your heart with all diligence, then you don't just "fall in love." You don't let yourself fall in love. This falling in love has a lot to do with the imagination. But the Bible says we should throw down imaginations. 3 For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh, 4 (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds, 5 Throwing down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ...(2 Cor 10:3-5) But if you're not a Christian, then step one is to become a Christian. There is really no hope of things turning out well for you if you don't have Jesus. More on this below. We're supposed to find out about that other person that we might have fallen in love with. You find out whether Jesus is number one in their life. You can ask them about that, but also, watch what they do. Jesus said we would know men by their fruits. Does that person produce the right kind of fruit? Do they do the things Jesus said to do? You pray, and ask the Lord for leading and guidance. You don't let yourself fall in love with someone until you are without a doubt sure that this is the person God wants you to marry. If you're not sure, pray some more. Chapter 2 In a previous book, "Marry at What Age?," I talked about the problems my Mother had because of her marrying an unbeliever. But my Mother was rather fortunate. I believe that when she died, she went to heaven. Some Christians that marry unbelievers will no doubt wind up in hell. There is no person, nor any thing on earth that is worth going to hell for. Jesus said, "What shall it profit a man (or, woman) if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?" (Matt 16:26) Losing your soul means going to hell. In 2 Cor 6:14, we are told not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. In other words, Christians must not marry unbelievers. I believe in long courtships. If you met someone, and have been dating now for three weeks, how could you possibly be talking so early about marriage? No, learn about that other person's knowledge of the Bible. How much scripture can they quote? There was a young lady at one of the churches I attended. On one of our dates, we quoted scripture to each other. I would quote a scripture, then she would quote a scripture, I would quote a scripture, then she would quote a scripture. We went on like that for probably at least twenty minutes. The right candidate for your spouse should be able to quote scriptures. Christians ought to pray a lot about whom to marry. And those Christians who don't do so are likely to get a spouse that was not God's will for them. I believe that I should have prayed a lot more about whom to marry. I married a Christian, but after four and a half years, it ended in divorce. After the decision to become a Christian, probably the next most important decision in life is whom to marry, and we really do need God's help in this matter. You don't just fall in love with someone. You talk with the possible candidates about spiritual matters. You discuss the Bible. You pray for the Lord's guidance, asking Him to show you His will. I know a man who was a TV star. He started out as an Evangelical Christian. But he apparently "fell in love" with an unbeliever, and became part of a false religion, the "Church of Religious Science." I am sure that the man who founded that religion is now burning in hell. This TV star had been a Christian, but then joined a false religion. "The man that wanders out of the way of understanding shall remain in the congregation of the dead." (Prov 21:16) I know another man who started out as a Christian. Though he didn't marry an unbeliever, he got himself a girlfriend who was an unbeliever, and this continued for about twenty years. In the beginning, he talked about witnessing to her to win her to Jesus. But now, it seems that she has won him over to going with her to hell, and he's quit being a Christian. That man was a very bright guy with just tons of abilities. But he let his unbelieving friends, and "the lusts of other things," pull him away from the Lord, and is now on his way to hell. (Mrk 4:19) What a pity. "The man that wanders out of the way of understanding shall remain in the congregation of the dead." (Prov 21:16) And what is the congregation of the dead? Well, you see, those are the people that go to hell, where their worms don't die, and where the fire is never quenched, where there's crying and gnashing of teeth (says Jesus). Christians have no business dating someone they can't marry. And Christians are not supposed to marry unbelievers. (2 Cor 6:14) Jesus said, "You MUST be born again." (John chapt 3) To become a born again Christian, obey Romans 10:9,10-- "That if you confess the Lord Jesus with your mouth, and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you're saved. For with the heart man believes for righteousness, and with the mouth, confession is made for salvation." ___James chapter 1 1 James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, to the twelve tribes that are dispersed around, greetings. 2 My brothers, count it all joy when you fall into various temptations, 3 Knowing this, that the testing of your faith works patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, so you'll be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God for it, who gives to all men liberally, and won't find fault, and it shall be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavers is like a wave of the sea driven by the wind and tossed. 7 For let that man not think that he'll receive anything from the Lord. 8 A double minded man is unstable in all his ways. 9 Let the brother of low degree rejoice in that he is exalted, 10 But the rich, in that he is made low, because as the flower of the grass he'll pass away. 11 For the sun has no sooner risen with a burning heat, but it withers the grass, and the flower of it falls, and the grace of the fashion of it perishes, so also shall the rich man fade away in his ways. 12 Blessed is the man that endures temptation, for after he's been tested, he'll receive the crown of life, that the Lord has promised to those who love him. 13 Let no man say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God," for God can't be tempted with evil, nor does he tempt any man, 14 But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away by his own lust, and enticed. 15 Then when lust has conceived, it produces sin, and sin when it's finished, produces death. 16 Do not err, my beloved brothers. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, nor shadow of turning. 18 He chose to father us with the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits of his creatures. 19 So, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, 20 For the anger of man doesn't accomplish the righteousness of God. 21 So, lay apart all filthiness and the unnecessary naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. 22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like a man seeing his natural face in a mirror, 24 For he sees himself, and goes his way, and immediately forgets what kind of man he was. 25 But whoever looks into the perfect law of liberty, and continues in it, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. 26 If any man among you seems to be religious, and doesn't bridle his tongue, but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is for nothing. 27 Pure religion and undefiled before God the Father is this, to visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world. ___James chapter 2 1 My brothers, don't have the faith of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory, with respect of persons. 2 For if a man with a gold ring comes to your assembly in fancy clothes, and a poor man in dirty clothes comes in also, 3 And you have respect to him that wears the fancy clothes, and say to him, "Sit here in a good place," and say to the poor, "Stand there, or sit here under my footstool," 4 Aren't you then partial in yourselves, and have become judges with evil thoughts? 5 Listen, my beloved brothers, hasn't God chosen the poor of this world rich in faith, and heirs of the kingdom that he has promised to those who love him? 6 But you have despised the poor. Don't rich men oppress you, and bring you before the judgment seats? 7 Don't they blaspheme that worthy name by which you're called? 8 If you fulfill the royal law according to the scripture, "You shall love your neighbor like yourself," you do well, 9 But if you have respect of persons, you commit sin, and are convicted by the law as sinners. 10 For whoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all. 11 For he that said, "Do not commit adultery," also said, "Do not kill." Now if you don't commit adultery, yet if you kill, you've become a breaker of the law. 12 Speak in such a way, and do, as those who'll be judged by the law of liberty. 13 For he shall have judgment without mercy that has shown no mercy, and mercy rejoices against judgment. 14 What does it profit, my brothers, though a man says he has faith, and doesn't have works? Can faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister needs clothes, and lacks daily food, 16 And one of you says to them, "Depart in peace, be warmed and filled," but you don't give them the things that are needed for the body, what good is that? 17 Even so faith, if it doesn't have works, is dead, being alone. 18 Yes, a man could say, "You have faith, and I have works, show me your faith without your works, and I'll show you my faith by my works." 19 You believe that there is one God, you do well, the devils also believe, and tremble. 20 But don't you know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead? 21 Wasn't Abraham our father justified by works, when he had offered Isaac his son on the altar? 22 Do you see how faith worked with his deeds, and by works faith was made perfect? 23 And the scripture was fulfilled that says, "Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him as righteousness, and he was called the friend of God." 24 You see then how that by works a man is justified, and not by faith only. 25 Likewise also wasn't Rahab the prostitute justified by works, when she had received the messengers, and had sent them out another way? 26 For like the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also. ___James chapter 3 1 My brothers, don't be many masters, knowing that we'll receive the greater condemnation. 2 For in many things we offend all. If any man doesn't offend in word, the same is a perfect man, and able also to bridle the whole body. 3 See, we put bits in the horses' mouths, so they'll obey us, and we turn around their whole bodies. 4 Look also at the ships, which though they're so large, and are driven by fierce winds, yet they're turned around by a very small helm, wherever the captain wants. 5 Even so, the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things. See how great a matter a little fire kindles! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of sin, so is the tongue among our members that it makes dirty the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature, and it is set on fire by hell. 7 For every kind of animals, and of birds, and of snakes, and of things in the sea, gets tamed, and has been tamed by mankind, 8 But no man can tame the tongue, it is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With it we bless God, the Father, and with it we curse men, who are made after the likeness of God. 10 Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be. 11 Does a fountain send out at the same place sweet water and bitter? 12 Can the fig tree, my brothers, produce olive berries? Or a vine, figs? So no fountain can yield both salt water and fresh. 13 Who is a wise man, possessing knowledge among you? Let him show out of a good lifestyle his works with meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, don't glory, and don't lie against the truth. 15 This wisdom doesn't descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. 16 For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. 17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be reasoned with, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy. 18 And the fruit of righteousness is planted in peace by those who make peace. ___James chapter 4 1 Where do wars and fightings among you come from? Don't they come from your lusts that war in your members? 2 You lust, and don't have, you kill, and desire to have, and can't obtain, you fight and war, yet you don't have, because you don't ask. 3 You ask, and don't receive, because you ask wrongly, so you can consume it on your lusts. 4 You adulterers and adulteresses, don't you know that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world is an enemy of God. 5 Do you think that the scripture says for nothing, "The spirit that lives in us lusts to envy?" 6 But he gives more grace. So he says, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble." 7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he'll run away from you. 8 Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double minded. 9 Be afflicted, and mourn, and cry, let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. 10 Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he'll lift you up. 11 Don't speak evil about each other, brothers. He that speaks evil about his brother, and judges his brother, speaks evil about the law, and judges the law, but if you judge the law, you're not a doer of the law, but a judge. 12 There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy, who are you that judges someone else? 13 Go on now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we'll go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and make a profit," 14 Actually, you don't know what will happen tomorrow. For what is your life? It is a puff of steam, that appears for a little time, and then vanishes away. 15 For you ought to say, "Lord willing, we'll live, and do this, or that." 16 But now you rejoice in your boastings, all such rejoicing is evil. 17 Therefore to him that knows to do good, and doesn't do it, to him it is sin. ___James chapter 5 1 Go on now, you rich men, cry and howl for your miseries that shall come on you. 2 Your riches are corrupted, and your clothes are moth eaten. 3 Your gold and silver are rusted, and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat your flesh like fire. You've heaped treasure together for the last days. 4 See, the wages of the laborers who have reaped down your fields, which you've kept back by fraud, shouts, and the shouts of those who've reaped have entered into the ears of the Lord of Sabbath. 5 You've lived in pleasure on the earth, and been wanton, you've nourished your hearts, like in a day of slaughter. 6 You've condemned and killed the just, and he doesn't resist you. 7 Be patient therefore, brothers, until the coming of the Lord. See, the farmer waits for the precious fruit of the earth, and has long patience for it, until he receives the early and latter rain. 8 You also be patient. Establish your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is getting near. 9 Don't grudge against each other, brothers, so you won't be condemned, see, the judge stands at the door. 10 Take, my brothers, the prophets, who've spoken in the name of the Lord, for an example of suffering affliction, and of patience. 11 See, we count them happy that endure. You've heard of the patience of Job, and have seen the end of the Lord, that the Lord is very pitiful, and of tender mercy. 12 But above all things, my brothers, don't swear, not by heaven, nor by the earth, nor by any other oath, but let your yes be yes, and your no, no, so that you don't fall into condemnation. 13 Is anyone among you afflicted? Let him pray. Is anyone merry? Let him sing psalms. 14 Is anyone sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the church, and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord, 15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up, and if he has committed sins, he'll be forgiven. 16 Confess your faults to each other, and pray for each other so you'll be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man accomplishes a lot. 17 Elijah was a man subject to the same kind of passions that we are, and he prayed earnestly that it wouldn't rain, and it didn't rain on the earth for three years and six months. 18 And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth produced its fruit. 19 Brothers, if any of you strays from the truth, and someone converts him, 20 Let him know, that he that converts the sinner from the error of his ways shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.